Money is one of the last great taboos. We’ll talk about relationships, health, even politics—but when it comes to our paycheques, debts, or investment wins and losses, silence often reigns. This secrecy can leave us isolated, misinformed, and vulnerable to financial stress. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I’d love to normalize talking about money—not just with financial advisors, but with friends, family, and trusted communities. Whether it’s discussing salaries (yikes), budgeting, or investment strategies, open financial conversations can lead to better decisions, stronger relationships, and a healthier relationship with money itself.
I love nothing better walking in the forest with one (or more) of my friends and talking about our money, sharing tips or consoling each other about market drops. My partner and I love talking about money too, his money, my money, the market, the bills, all of it. Love it all. That’s not the case for many people though.
Why We Stay Silent—and Why That’s a Problem
For generations, discussing money has been considered impolite or even shameful. Cultural norms, gender roles, and fear of judgment have all contributed to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach to personal finance. But this silence has real consequences.
According to the study Couples Underestimate the Benefits of Talking About Money, couples who were assigned the task of talking about money found many relational benefits. The research found that open financial communication is linked to greater happiness and more prudent financial behaviour. Pooling finances, for example, encourages transparency and reduces the likelihood of unpleasant financial surprises.
In relationships, secrecy around money can erode trust. A recent article in The Guardian highlighted how couples managing finances separately often experience stress and power imbalances, especially when one partner earns significantly more. Women, in particular, voiced concerns about financial dependency and limited access to shared wealth, intensifying stress and relational imbalance.
Opening up about money isn’t just about avoiding problems—it’s about unlocking benefits:
- Improved Financial Decisions: Sharing financial goals and challenges with trusted individuals can lead to better decision-making. A study called Financial Satisfaction: The Role of Shared Financial Responsibility and Shared Financial Values Among Couples (you’re starting to see what I do in my spare time here… ) found that individuals who discussed financial matters with their partners exhibited healthier financial behaviours, such as less impulsive spending and lower levels of credit card debt.
- Increased Accountability: When you tell friends and family about your financial goals, you are increasing the odds that you will be successful. You are adding a layer of accountability to your plans. A study showed a remarkable 3.7-fold increase in the number of deposits made by people who had the option to publicly announce their savings goal, which was then monitored in weekly meetings.
- Reduced Financial Stress: Financial stress can strain relationships and mental health. Open conversations about money can alleviate this stress by fostering understanding and shared responsibility.
Pay Transparency: A Step Toward Equity
Discussing salaries has long been considered taboo, but pay transparency is gaining traction as a tool for promoting equity and fairness in the workplace. Research indicates that pay transparency can help close wage gaps and improve employee satisfaction. A study published in the Harvard Business Review found that pay transparency can lead to greater trust and engagement among employees.
Building a Culture of Financial Openness
Creating an environment where money conversations are normalized requires intentional effort:
- Start Small: Begin by discussing general financial topics with trusted friends or family members. Share experiences, challenges, and goals to build comfort and trust.
- Seek Out Communities: Join groups or forums focused on financial literacy and openness. Engaging with others who are committed to transparent financial discussions can provide support and insight. Better yet, start your own Money Talks Club (more on this at the end).
- Educate Yourself: Increase your financial literacy through books, podcasts, or workshops. Understanding financial concepts can boost confidence and facilitate more meaningful conversations.
- Encourage Workplace Transparency: Advocate for salary transparency and equitable pay practices within your organization. Open discussions about compensation can lead to a more inclusive and fairer workplace.
Embrace the Conversation
Breaking the silence around money is a powerful step toward financial empowerment and equity. By fostering open, honest conversations about finances, we can build stronger relationships, make better financial decisions, and create a culture where money is no longer a taboo subject but a shared journey toward prosperity.
Check out my free e-book, Money Talks Club Playbook to start your own Money Talks group, club or circle. Whatever you want to call it.
Just get the conversation started today.
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